Communication Management in Marriage
Communication is more than just the words you use to convey information to your partner. It also involves tone of voice and body language.
Practice empathy during conversations with your spouse by putting yourself in their shoes and understanding their perspective. This can help you resolve conflicts more quickly.
Try to avoid arguing when you’re both in an emotional state. This can muddie the waters of your discussion and make it harder to solve problems.
Set Boundaries
If both partners are able to set and honor healthy boundaries, the marriage will be a more fulfilling experience to Communication management in marriage. Boundaries protect couples from manipulation and ensure that both individuals feel valued in the relationship.
This includes personal space, financial decisions, and even sex preferences. It also entails not discussing private matters with friends outside of the marriage, maintaining a device transparency that includes passwords, and establishing boundaries about in-laws and family members.
As with any issue within a marriage, it’s important to discuss these issues with your partner and come up with a plan together. This will help you both understand what’s expected from the relationship and allow for a more collaborative solution. You may encounter pushback from your spouse, but it’s important to remain calm and respectful.
Schedule Regular Check-Ins
A good way to prevent conflict and keep your relationship healthy is to schedule weekly “relationship check-ins.” These conversations can help you understand each other’s goals, fantasies, strengths, and weaknesses.
These conversations should focus on what went well, what could have been better, and addressing any problems that may be arising. Be sure to choose a time and location where you can be free of distractions.
If you aren’t comfortable discussing difficult topics, like sex, finances, or blind spots, consider working with a professional couple’s counselor to improve your communication skills. You can also find free, easy-to-use tools and resources like the Paired app that facilitates meaningful, effective discussions. Designed to be secure, compliant with worldwide standards, and backed by global community support, the Paired app makes it possible for couples to communicate without interruption.
Practice Empathy
Empathy is an important part of healthy communication in marriage. It involves putting yourself in your spouse’s shoes and considering situations from their perspective. It also includes identifying with their emotions, such as when they are upset or frustrated.
When you are trying to empathize, try to recall a time when you felt the same way. This may help you avoid judging your spouse’s feelings or squashing them. As a Denver couples counselor, I’ve found that this often happens during conflict because people are afraid to be hurt or to feel out of control.
When you practice empathy, you can validate your partner’s feelings and create a deeper emotional connection. This will reduce the frequency of your fights. It will also increase your understanding of each other, reducing frustration and resentment.
Listen to Your Partner
The goal of any discussion with your partner is to come to an understanding. In order to do this, you need to listen attentively. Resist the urge to just wait until your spouse is finished speaking so you can launch into your turn of talking. That is not listening!
Pay attention to your pace, volume and timbre. Use open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding of their point of view. Avoid red flag timbres such as sarcasm, which can erode trust in communication.
Paraphrase what your spouse has said to show that you are truly listening. Ask them if you got it right. It can be easy to misunderstand a conversation, and this method will help you to prevent miscommunications. It also allows you to see where your perspectives are similar and negotiate, if necessary, for a resolution.
Seek Professional Help
If a couple has been struggling to overcome communication challenges for a long time, they may want to seek professional help. Licensed marriage counselors can teach couples healthier ways to communicate and build stronger marital bonds.
Miscommunication in intimate relationships can stem from many factors, such as an argumentative or passive-aggressive communication style. If a married couple can understand their different communication styles, they will be able to identify misunderstandings and resolve conflicts.
For example, if your husband is naturally closed off, try asking open ended questions about his hobbies or interests. This will make him feel more comfortable and will encourage him to talk more with you. Then you can learn to listen to him without getting defensive and share about your own thoughts and feelings.